Make me anonymous pls… At first my boyfriend was so considerate, and overly friendly. Once we started dating he started to accused me of cheating on him, and would call me a ‘slut’. He would repeatedly call to “check-up” on me. When he sees me with a male friend, he would grab my arm forcefully and several times I fell down trying to get away from him. One night, he held me down and wouldn’t let me leave his house.
The worst part was that I went along with everything. He would break up with me, and then I would take him back. He blamed me for his behavior, saying that if I was trustable, he wouldn’t have to check on me. He would ask my friends if I was trustworthy and would check to see if I am where I told him. Many times women believe that they would recognize abuse, I believed that. I am an educated woman, from a good family, with a job, and a secure future. I never thought I would end up in an abusive relationship. It was so subtle. He stole my self worth. Then finally he broke up with me.
After we broke up, he started to stalk me. I made two reports against him to some touts in my street, he was beaten but he didn’t still let go. I didn’t get it. He followed me everywhere I went, sent lewd messages, threatened me. It has been a year, my friends have been a good support. I avoid places I know he goes. About every couple months he sends a lewd message, but I have been able to return to a normal life. I am careful about going places by myself. I have finally realized that I am not all the things he called me, and that I am lovable. I am in a healthy relationship now that is full of respect.
Next two months is my white wedding with the man I am courting now. Just few days ago, I received a message from my old boyfriend that he is coming to congratulate me that day. I am scared, what if he does anything stupid when the priest asks that question of anyone objecting to this wedding? The worst part is that my fiancé now isn’t aware of all these troubles. I felt it doesn’t really count.
What do I do? Some real advice can save a soul now please……