Men are sometimes abused by partners, but domestic violence is most often directed toward women. It occurs when someone keeps hurting their partner and apologizing that the hurtful behavior won’t happen again, but it keeps happening.
At times, you wonder whether you are imagining the abuse, yet the emotional or physical pain you feel is real. If this sounds familiar, you might be experiencing domestic violence.
Men and women don’t plan to enter into abusive relationships but it sadly happens. Sadly, it takes an average of five to seven acts of violence before a woman leaves her abuser.
It’s easier to avoid an abusive relationship if you are able to detect the early signs. A path to a safer, healthier and happier life often starts with a bit of knowledge.
It might not be easy to identify domestic violence at first. While some relationships are clearly abusive from the outset, abuse often starts subtly and gets worse over time.
The longer you stay in an abusive relationship, the greater the physical and emotional toll. You might be experiencing domestic violence if you are in a relationship with someone who calls you names, insults you or puts you down.
Below, we have listed out several ways one can be abused in his/her relationship:
1. Your Partner Pushes For Quick Involvement
He or she comes on strong, claiming, “I’ve never felt loved like this before by anyone.” You get pressured for an exclusive commitment almost immediately.
2. Your Partner Exhibits Constant Jealousy
Your partner is excessively possessive, calls constantly, or visits unexpectedly. He or she acts jealous or possessive or constantly accuses you of being unfaithful
3. Your Partner Is Controlling
He or she interrogates you intensely about who you talked to and where you were, keeps all the money or asks for receipts, and insists you ask for permission to go anywhere or do anything. They might also try to control how you spend money, where you go and what you wear.
4. Your Partner Isolates You From Family And Friends
He or she tries to cut you off from family and friends, deprive you of a phone or car, or try to prevent you from holding a job. They might prevent or discourages you from going to work or school.
5. Your Partner Blames You For The Abuse
He or she blames you for his or her violent behaviour or tells you that you deserve it. Your abusive partner may blame your boss, your family, or you for issues they caused. It’s always someone else’s fault if anything goes wrong.
6. Your Partner Makes You Responsible For Their Feelings
The abuser says, “You make me angry” instead of “I’m angry.” “I wouldn’t get so pissed off if you wouldn’t say that or do that. They blame you for their actions instead of taking responsibility for how they feel. It is your fault when things go wrong.
7. Your Partner Uses Playful Force During S*x
He enjoys throwing you down or holding you down against your will. He finds the idea of rape exciting. He intimidates, manipulates or forces you to have sex or engage in sexual acts against your will. He claims rape doesn’t occur between couples but you know you have been sexually violated by his actions.
8. Your Partner Verbally Abuses You
He or she constantly criticizes you or says cruel things. He or she curses and calls you ugly names. They often will use vulnerable points about your past or current life against you.
9. Your Partner Has Sudden Mood Swings
He or she switches from loving to angry in a matter of minutes. The abuser might also have a past of battering. They may admit to hitting their partners in the past, but states that their partners or the situation brought it on.
10. Your Partner Threatens You With Violence
He or she makes statements such as, “I’ll break your neck,” but then dismisses it with “I really didn’t mean it.” They might also threaten you with a weapon or injure you with one during arguments.
so dear, if you are in an abusive situation, you might recognize this pattern. Your abuser threatens violence during disagreements. Your abuser strikes you. Your abuser apologizes, promises to change and offers gifts.
But then, the cycle repeats itself. You don’t have to endure abuse. Leave with your life and health intact. Leave to live. Don’t become a domestic violence statistic. Run for your dear life.!
Kate Halim for The Sun